A time for everything.

There's a time for being patient, and there is a time for taking things into your own hands.
There comes a point in time when you are just done waiting, and take things into your own hands. Take control of the situation, tell someone how it is, and how it's gonna go down.

That is just what I did. Im tired of waiting around for someone to tell me what they're thinking. There's a time to just ask them. Just say what needs to be said. So now as I'm waiting for an answer I realize that it's just not that big of a deal. As much as I don't want to give up, and put hope down, there comes a point when reality comes along. I accept it. No matter what happens, I still have the love of my Lord, and for that I am forever Joyful.

So I asked, and now I am waiting for an answer that may or may not come, if it does, great, if it doesnt, great. Wish me luck.

Patience

Patience.
That one little word means so much. It is so difficult! Being patient is a hard thing to do. There are things that force you to be patient though.

Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that's patience.

But see the thing about patience, is it is necessary in life. I am a strong believer in the fact that nothing worth getting comes along easily. If you want it, you are willing to do what ever it takes to get it, and most people take that as keep pushing, and fighting, and running toward it. But sometimes it just means patiently waiting.

Right now I am waiting for a couple of things. One thing I could just fight and push and run toward, but that would push him away, I have to wait. Patiently wait for his decision, and then I have to just trust God that it is the right one, even if its what I do not want to hear. The other thing I have absolutely no hand in. The only thing I can do is wait. You would think that after two years of just waiting I would be pro at it by now. The truth is, it is very hard because I want to do everything myself. I want it and I want it now. I must trust God though, and I must learn to wait. To not rush, but take it slow, trust that God has a plan, and understand his timing is perfect. It may be hard, but it is a challenge. God can help me, I must trust in him. Please help me Lord?

Risk

To love is to risk not being loved in return, to hope is to risk pain, to try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing

I have no idea who said this quote, and I do not know why they said it. But all I know is that they are true words. Risk is what we take in life, because without it we would never do anything, never go anywhere, never love anyone. Even though they are big risks, we must never stop loving, never stop hoping, and never stop trying. Because the second we stop, we give up. We must never lose hope.

Hope.
something I hold on to when I have nothing else left. Yet, it is so easily lost. That may be because where I get my hope from is so easily broken. I get my hope from myself. But that should not be the case. "Why are you cast down, O my soul,and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,my salvation and my God." Psalm 42:11. Hope in God, because he will never break. Put your trust in him, because he will always lead you down the right path. So here I am, still holding on to hope, but this hope is different. It is hope in God, that no matter the outcome, I will be ok, because I still have my savior, and he still loves me.

So I sit here, wanting to take risks in life. Risks in loving people, risks in jumping out of perfectly good airplanes. Risks in my life, but one risk I am never willing to take is in my salvation. As long as I have my Lord, and as long as I am aiming to please him and worship him, then no matter what I do, I will be ok. I will be better than ok. I will be JOYFUL. filled with Joy, peace, love, gentleness. I will be filled with the spirit of my LORD. whom I love, and who loves me. And that is what matters in life.

I miss you

Three words, they are the ones I am so tired of saying. "I miss you". Saying those words to someone never makes me feel better. In fact, all it does is make me more sad then I already am, because in saying those words I know I am not going to see that person in a very long time. I'm sick of goodbyes, and I'm sick of not being there for the people I care about the most. I just have to love them from a far, and that is one of the hardest things to do. I guess for a very selfish reason. I love being around people, and I love being surrounded by the people I love, and knowing they love me. It is an amazing feeling, one of the best. But for some reason they have all left. and now all I can say to them is "I miss you". I hope they know how much I miss them every second of every day. How much I miss just talking to them at night in the middle of my street. How much I miss just going to coffee and relaxing, knowing I don't have to try to keep the conversation going, because we never run out of things to talk about. I miss just being comfortable around them because I know no matter what, they will love me, and always be there for me. I miss that feeling of just being comfortable. Instead trying so hard. I miss all the crazy times, the laying in bed and comforting me because of certain troubles. I just miss them. and it's not the greatest feeling, but I guess I just have to stay positive. Stay Positive!

AMERICA

I've been on a patriotic kick since the begining of summer. Here's the thing, When you get 5 patriotic people and put them together for 3 months, the end results in 5 extremely patriotic people. And thats what happened. With USA USA USA! chants once day and flags being carried around as an accesory its a little hard to not feel super proud of america! So I just want to say, Im proud to be an American. And I am grateful to Jesus and the Soldiers who gave thier lives, one for my salvation, and the other for my freedom. I love God, and I am a Proud American. I cannot wait until I can join the US Navy. and defend this freedom I have so greatly enjoyed.

From the Inside Out

True, real change starts from the inside and works its way out. This is the way God works. He lives in us, and changes our soul, our mind, then works his way into our outward selves, our actions, words, the way we live our lives. Romans 12:2 says "Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may be able to test and approve of what God's will is, His good, pleasing, and perfect will." Basically if you want to really know what God wants for your life, allow your mind to be transformed by Christ, and you will always be in his will. God always knows what is best for our lives, yet we get so caught up in this world, in the pleasures and likeness of what it brings, that we forget this world sucks. There's war, heart ache, murder, hurricanes, tornadoes, and sin. Who would want to stay here any longer then they have to? We forget constantly that we have something more amazing and wonderful than anything in this world, waiting for us from our Lord in heaven. We need Christ to transform our minds so that we may be able to constantly focus on that which is above. The important things in life, God. The Holy Spirit works on our soul, we just have to let him in. "From the inside out Lord my soul cries out" How do you let Christ transform your mind? Well I'm not too sure about that one, the one thing you could do is pray. Always pray. Pray to love Christ, pray for the Holy Spirit to take control of your life, pray for the transformation of your mind. God looks at the soul, not at how skinny we are, or how pretty, buff, or good we look in certain clothes. Pay attention to the fruits of your labor, are they sour? Or do the represent Christ?

my Liv

Today my bestfriend left for College. I am so proud of her words cannot explain. The bad part of this, she went to Oregon. How I am going to live here in CA without her I do not know. She helped me through so much in my life, We've been through so much together and I know that she is going to do amazing in college. I will miss her, but I know our friendship can last through anything, because it already has. I love her so much. Congrats Liv!!