A time for everything.

There's a time for being patient, and there is a time for taking things into your own hands.
There comes a point in time when you are just done waiting, and take things into your own hands. Take control of the situation, tell someone how it is, and how it's gonna go down.

That is just what I did. Im tired of waiting around for someone to tell me what they're thinking. There's a time to just ask them. Just say what needs to be said. So now as I'm waiting for an answer I realize that it's just not that big of a deal. As much as I don't want to give up, and put hope down, there comes a point when reality comes along. I accept it. No matter what happens, I still have the love of my Lord, and for that I am forever Joyful.

So I asked, and now I am waiting for an answer that may or may not come, if it does, great, if it doesnt, great. Wish me luck.

Patience

Patience.
That one little word means so much. It is so difficult! Being patient is a hard thing to do. There are things that force you to be patient though.

Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that's patience.

But see the thing about patience, is it is necessary in life. I am a strong believer in the fact that nothing worth getting comes along easily. If you want it, you are willing to do what ever it takes to get it, and most people take that as keep pushing, and fighting, and running toward it. But sometimes it just means patiently waiting.

Right now I am waiting for a couple of things. One thing I could just fight and push and run toward, but that would push him away, I have to wait. Patiently wait for his decision, and then I have to just trust God that it is the right one, even if its what I do not want to hear. The other thing I have absolutely no hand in. The only thing I can do is wait. You would think that after two years of just waiting I would be pro at it by now. The truth is, it is very hard because I want to do everything myself. I want it and I want it now. I must trust God though, and I must learn to wait. To not rush, but take it slow, trust that God has a plan, and understand his timing is perfect. It may be hard, but it is a challenge. God can help me, I must trust in him. Please help me Lord?

Risk

To love is to risk not being loved in return, to hope is to risk pain, to try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing

I have no idea who said this quote, and I do not know why they said it. But all I know is that they are true words. Risk is what we take in life, because without it we would never do anything, never go anywhere, never love anyone. Even though they are big risks, we must never stop loving, never stop hoping, and never stop trying. Because the second we stop, we give up. We must never lose hope.

Hope.
something I hold on to when I have nothing else left. Yet, it is so easily lost. That may be because where I get my hope from is so easily broken. I get my hope from myself. But that should not be the case. "Why are you cast down, O my soul,and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,my salvation and my God." Psalm 42:11. Hope in God, because he will never break. Put your trust in him, because he will always lead you down the right path. So here I am, still holding on to hope, but this hope is different. It is hope in God, that no matter the outcome, I will be ok, because I still have my savior, and he still loves me.

So I sit here, wanting to take risks in life. Risks in loving people, risks in jumping out of perfectly good airplanes. Risks in my life, but one risk I am never willing to take is in my salvation. As long as I have my Lord, and as long as I am aiming to please him and worship him, then no matter what I do, I will be ok. I will be better than ok. I will be JOYFUL. filled with Joy, peace, love, gentleness. I will be filled with the spirit of my LORD. whom I love, and who loves me. And that is what matters in life.

I miss you

Three words, they are the ones I am so tired of saying. "I miss you". Saying those words to someone never makes me feel better. In fact, all it does is make me more sad then I already am, because in saying those words I know I am not going to see that person in a very long time. I'm sick of goodbyes, and I'm sick of not being there for the people I care about the most. I just have to love them from a far, and that is one of the hardest things to do. I guess for a very selfish reason. I love being around people, and I love being surrounded by the people I love, and knowing they love me. It is an amazing feeling, one of the best. But for some reason they have all left. and now all I can say to them is "I miss you". I hope they know how much I miss them every second of every day. How much I miss just talking to them at night in the middle of my street. How much I miss just going to coffee and relaxing, knowing I don't have to try to keep the conversation going, because we never run out of things to talk about. I miss just being comfortable around them because I know no matter what, they will love me, and always be there for me. I miss that feeling of just being comfortable. Instead trying so hard. I miss all the crazy times, the laying in bed and comforting me because of certain troubles. I just miss them. and it's not the greatest feeling, but I guess I just have to stay positive. Stay Positive!

AMERICA

I've been on a patriotic kick since the begining of summer. Here's the thing, When you get 5 patriotic people and put them together for 3 months, the end results in 5 extremely patriotic people. And thats what happened. With USA USA USA! chants once day and flags being carried around as an accesory its a little hard to not feel super proud of america! So I just want to say, Im proud to be an American. And I am grateful to Jesus and the Soldiers who gave thier lives, one for my salvation, and the other for my freedom. I love God, and I am a Proud American. I cannot wait until I can join the US Navy. and defend this freedom I have so greatly enjoyed.

From the Inside Out

True, real change starts from the inside and works its way out. This is the way God works. He lives in us, and changes our soul, our mind, then works his way into our outward selves, our actions, words, the way we live our lives. Romans 12:2 says "Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may be able to test and approve of what God's will is, His good, pleasing, and perfect will." Basically if you want to really know what God wants for your life, allow your mind to be transformed by Christ, and you will always be in his will. God always knows what is best for our lives, yet we get so caught up in this world, in the pleasures and likeness of what it brings, that we forget this world sucks. There's war, heart ache, murder, hurricanes, tornadoes, and sin. Who would want to stay here any longer then they have to? We forget constantly that we have something more amazing and wonderful than anything in this world, waiting for us from our Lord in heaven. We need Christ to transform our minds so that we may be able to constantly focus on that which is above. The important things in life, God. The Holy Spirit works on our soul, we just have to let him in. "From the inside out Lord my soul cries out" How do you let Christ transform your mind? Well I'm not too sure about that one, the one thing you could do is pray. Always pray. Pray to love Christ, pray for the Holy Spirit to take control of your life, pray for the transformation of your mind. God looks at the soul, not at how skinny we are, or how pretty, buff, or good we look in certain clothes. Pay attention to the fruits of your labor, are they sour? Or do the represent Christ?

my Liv

Today my bestfriend left for College. I am so proud of her words cannot explain. The bad part of this, she went to Oregon. How I am going to live here in CA without her I do not know. She helped me through so much in my life, We've been through so much together and I know that she is going to do amazing in college. I will miss her, but I know our friendship can last through anything, because it already has. I love her so much. Congrats Liv!!

ch-ch-changes

So I changed my life. Well not completley, but enough for it to feel like a hudge life change. Im not being a rescue swimmer anymore. Its a little difficult I'll admit, especially when I see others leaving to become one, or graduating from swim school. I think "I can definitely do that!" I mainly have to remind myself that God has a bigger plan than what I can see right now. He sees the big picture, I see what I'm going on in the moment. But I know that if I end up doing what Im thinking of doing right now, I'll love it. My plan? I want to fly. How? through being a Navy Mechaninc, then going to Moody Aviation when I get out of the navy. Thats all I have figured out right now, which isnt a lot. But I know God has a plan, and that as long as Im doing everything for his glory then I will love whatever I end up doing. My ultimate goal is to be a missionary and fly.

What am I doing now: Right now Im waiting to go to MEPS again. All of my medical and ASVAB stuff expired, so yes, I have to do it all over again. Fun right? oh yea. Ill be heading up there as soon as they clear everything for my waiver again. Then I pick the job I want, and get a date. Right now Im working in Big Bear. It is the most amazing job I have ever had, with the most amazing people ever. I absolutly love it. Im in the mountains and actually doing something almost all the time, there is not a lot of down time up there, and I love it. God is great and he is doing amazing things in my life right now. I wouldnt have it any other way. I am so blessed that I did not go in the Navy when I wanted to. Or I wouldnt have had this experience that I am having now. The only down side coming up is Liv leaving for college in August. How Im gonna live with out her, I have no idea. She has helped me through so much and I am so greatful to have her as a friend.

Game time. Hooyah!

Even though this isnt the day im leaving for basic training, its still a day I've been waiting for since I decided to pursue this job. Which was almost two years ago. June 2009. This is the try outs for the best team in the world. No big deal. Time to get loud time to represent! even though this is just a "practice" compared to a game, it feels more like try-outs. Yes, Im nervous, but this isnt a feeling Im new to. Just a little pre game jitters. So I sit and do what I always do. Pray. to calm me, and to give me the strength I need to succeed. To surpass expectations. Remember Colossians 3:23, this is all for God. Gloria A Dios. So even though this may not seem like a big deal. its not. Yep thats right, its not. Its just a game, Ive been in this situation a million times, and I live for these moments. So what time is it? Game Time Huh! (you can yell it if you want, I just did.)

One foot in front of the other

One foot infront of the other. Thats all I have to remember. Just keep moving, never quit, never give up. Just keep moving forward. No matter how difficult it is, no matter how much you want to crawl back in bed, Just keep moving forward. Remember Im never alone, even when I think I am, I have to know Im not. God has blessed me more than I could ever have hoped. He has given me an amazing family, and amazing friends who are always there to encourage me the minute I start to fall. Im not just talking about working out or running. Im talking about life. It doesnt stop when you need it to, it keeps going whether you like it or not. There is no pause button just because your tired. Fortunatly God is always there to carry you when your face down on the ground feeling like life just needs to stop. Thats when you pray, Thats when you cry out to God, and thats when he picks you up and says "Keep moving, One foot infront of the other, I am here for you, I LOVE YOU" I am his child. I belong to him. I find myself in him, I am beautiful because I am His creation. Nothing else matters more in this world than bringing Glory to God. Gloria a Dios. Thats what keeps me moving. Thats what keeps me going even when I want more than anything in the world, to stop. To bring glory to God in everything I do. and giving up is not glorifying God, because that means I did not try my hardest. It means that I have not only given up on myself, but I have given up on God. Colossians 3:23 Do everything as if working for the LORD not for men. Men isnt just other people, it is ourselves. We need to stop doing everything for the glory of men, and the glory of our selves, and start working for the Glory of God. GLORIA A DIOS.God is good, He is so good, he is strength when we have none, he is love when we feel alone, he is courage, our hope, our comforter. He is LOVE. God is great, so lets not just sing his praise. Lets shout his praise. And lets Keep moving forward. Because Our LORD is with us every step of the way. with all my love in Christ.

Ready, Set, LOVE

Im am more than ready to start this. God willing I pass, God willing I ever get to take my test. But heres an update to all 2 of my readers. Ive been busy latley. My sister M came home this weekend and we went "shopping" n stuff. I love her and she will always be my best friend, the person I can count on, my sister. I tell her everything that goes on in my life. shes so beautiful and such a sweetheart. Dont get me wrong I love my other sister B just as much , I dont get to see her as often and we may not get along as well, but I still love her, and I still go to her for advice. It would be nice though if she could stop seeing me as the child she tried to raise and as her adult sister. But regardless I still love her and she is still a beautiful person inside and out. I am so blessed to have the sisters I do. I recently got a job at Pine Summit Christian Camp in Big Bear. I start that in May, and although I like my job at Big 5, I am excited to spend the summer somewhere as beautiful as Big Bear. I have been so blessed lately and I am so thankful for every thing God has given me. For a while that was an afterthought in my life. God. I started to not care about him, and I was becoming annoyed with people telling me to trust God, and pray etc. I hated it. I got annoyed when I read bible verses on Facebook. and I am so sorry. I want to love God and Love others. I want to LOVE. when people look at me I want them to see the LOVE of God shining through. i love LOVE. i want to LOVE. its all that matters in life, to love God and to love others. I am trying. I may fail at times, but God never leaves me, and in those few months when i started to leave him, he was always pulling slightly back at me. I went and saw the movie Soul Surfer and that really jolted me back. I realised that God is so loving and important. That he will never leave, and that he never has. He is always right there to catch you as your falling. I am SO thankful that God never gave up on me. and Im working on pride, and worry. So ill leave you with this. Im sure you have heard it a million times, but it really hit home with me the other day. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE.. So LOVE GOD, LOVE OTHERS. until next time.

Day 31

Day 31: (my last day:]) A picture of ME

Day 30

Day 30: A picture of someone you miss. I miss so many people right now. It would be very hard to just choose one. Theres Teresa, and a few other people. but im gonna go with teresa. I miss being in VA with her and others.

Day 29

Day 29: A picture that makes you smile This is my pappa in Paris at the river. It always makes me smile, because he is such a goofball.

Day 28

Day 28: A picture of something your afraid of Honestly, Im scared of losing this friendship. Ive known her for so long and she is my best friend. . Im afraid of losing her.

Day 27

Day 27: A picture of you and a family member. My pappa:)) I love him so much, he is my hero.

Day 26

DAy 26: A picture of something that means a lot to you

My sisters mean so much to me. I love them a lot, they are my best friends, my best enemys, and my comforters. They are always there for me. I love you B and Mey:)

Day Twenty Five

Day 25: A picture of your day

My day was spent crawling through mud, jumping over fire, climbing over cargo nets, and running, alot. It was a fantastic day, one that I will remember for a long time to come.

Day 24

day twenty four: A picture of something you wish you could change. Dont get me wrong. I am very grateful to even have a car. But if I could change anything right now, it would be this little tic tac. I just want to upgrade it enough to get air conditioning..

Day Twenty Three

Day 23: A picture of your favorite book I've read it twice:)

Day Twenty two

Day 22: A picture of something you wish you were better at

Day 21

Day Twenty-one: A picture of something you would like to forget. The picture speaks for itself.

Day 20

Day 20: A picture of a place you would like to travel

I would like to go to Hitlers Eagle Nest.

Day 19

Day 19: A picture and a letter.

Dear Strangers,

I am sorry that I am not a very good friend, daughter, or sister at times. I
know I can be extremely difficult, but for some reason you all stick around. I
am so thankful for that because if you ever left me my life would fall apart.
Friend, I am sorry that I am never there for you and that I only see you when it
is right for me, and that I accept the fact that you are just busy and never
make the time to see you because, well, your busy. I promise to stop using that
excuse and to just go on over because I miss you, and I promise to be a better
friend from now on, thinking of you not myself. Sisters, you guys are amazing. I
am sorry that I am so difficult and that I have to be so hot headed all the
time. You guys have always been there for me, and I never stop to think of
y'all. Your stuck with me as a sister, but you made the choice to be my friend.
I am so lucky that you havent just kicked me to the curb and gave me what I
deserved. I promise to cool down, to take a look at your side of things and to
just remember that nothing is a drama, and that I dont need to get so mad. I
have a feeling that if I stopped thinking of myself, and started thinking of
y'all we wouldnt get in so many fights. Parents, well to sum up everything, I am
sorry that I am so selfish. Just know though, when you ask me whats wrong, and I
answer nothing, Im either telling the truth, or in the process of realizing that
what I am upset about is not a big deal at all. So really, Im ok, you do not
need to worry. I promise to start being a daughter, not a teenager. I love you
all, and I am so lucky that none of you have left me, even thought I greatly
deserve it. So thank you Lord, for putting people in my life with patience,
because they have used it.

Love,
Kelsey Nicole Verburg

Day 18

Day 18: a picture of your biggest insecurity.


Well I guess I have to be honest.. no lying allowed. and I dont think I really have to say it.

Day Seventeen

Day 17: A picture of something that has had a huge impact on your life recently.

I would have to go with the Navy. mainly because After highschool its all i think about, everything I do is so that I may pass what ever challenges come my way once im in and training for it has just become my life.

Life Update

Dear all 2 followers. Hi there. I decided to update what ever has(or has not) been going on in my life. I just got hired for a job up at pine summit christian camp in big bear. I am excited about it, but at the same time its a little depressing. Its like admiting to myself " well its going to be a long time until I get to start what Ive been training for" but Im sure it will still be fun. Ill be living up there for the summer, then hopefully be leaving by the end. I just got my waiver for the navy, which means i am able to sign up for a regular job. But Im still waiting for Spec Ops to clear me so I can start taking tests. Im getting so impatient!! but i am still happy. I have been very happy latley, Started some new friendships, and found some old ones. One person Ive been talking to every night is in bootcamp at the moment and I definatly miss talking to the kid. Other than this stuff nothing exciting or new has really happened. At least nothing that any of you 2 readers really care about.. but I guess this is more for myself then for anyone else. A way to just release how im feeling with out going crazy on the innocent bistanders who are unfortunate enough to ask me the wrong question. Until next time . Adios!

Day 16

Day 16: A picture of someone who inspires you.

There isnt a set person who inspires me to do what I do. My main insperation comes from God. from His love, His grace, His joy.

Day 15

Day 15: Something you want to do before you die.

I really want to go back packing across Europe before I die. Im talking the cheep kind, sleep on couches/outside. Spend a good few months doing this. Maybe not all of Europe at once. But eventually. Something I really want to do.

I miss my friends. I dont nesacarliy miss highschool. I just miss spirit week, and bonfires, and volleyball games, and my friends. Hanging out with them, goin to toms after games and everything else. I miss the people from my senior year. I LOVE you all.

Day 13

Day Thirteen: Someone you cannot live without.
Even if they do not feel the same way. I could never live without my sisters.

Day 13

Day 13: A picture of your favorite band.

I have always loved and always will love Rascal Flattts. Ill drift away from them, but ill always come back. I have all thier cds and know every song:)

Day 12

DAy 12- Something you Love

I LOVE sports. Baseball, Football, even soccer and hockey. They are just so much fun and amazing. I could not live without them.

Day one-one.

Day 11: A picture of something you hate.

Spiders. And since I cannot stand to look at them I cannot post a picture of it. So y'all can go look up a picture of a spider on you own. So in the meantime enjoy this picture of a bunny.

....

Seriously. What am I doing with my life?!

Day one-oh

Day ten: I picture of the person you do the craziest things with.

I dont necesarally do the "craziest" things with this chick. But I do know that I always have the most fun whenever Im with her because we always act crazy. Life wouldnt have been the same if our parents never forced us to be friends when we were wee lads:)

Day Nine

Day Nine- A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
I could never just pick one person who has gotten me through the most in my life. Its my family. They have all helped me so much no matter what I was going through in my life. Im so grateful to have them all in my life.

Dia Ocho

Day 8- A Picture that makes you Laugh.


This picture makes me laugh everytime I see it. Not only because I look like an idiot, but because of the story as to why my face looks like this. I faceplanted into the ice while I was snowboarding... like an idiot. not like a boss. at all.

Day 7

Day Seven: A picture of your most treasured item.

So I thought long and hard about this one, a day or so actually. And honestly I could not think of anything, I have no idea why. So really Im just going skip this one.

Day Six

Day 6: a person you want to trade places with for the day.

Clayton Kershaw. Because then I would be a pitcher for the Dodgers. and that would be awesome.

Day 5

Day 5: A picture of your favorite memory


My favorite memory was the Europe trip with my senior class. There are no words to really describe it, until you've been there yourself. I absolutly LOVED Europe. It was beautiful and historical, and so much fun. I would definatly do this over again.

Day 4

Day 4: A picture of your night.

So I am in Virginia right now and it started snowing. So the obvious thing for us to do, was go outside and take some pictures!. even though I was wearing flipflops. My night consisted of snow and friend:)

Day 3

Day 3: a picture of the cast from your favorite TV show.
I LOVE Psych. It is possibly the best show on tv. Sean and Gus are amazing. They are my heros:) oh the fist bump.This show seriously makes me happy. Im so happy my friend Grace introduced me to it. Theres so many funny things these guys do and say. Its wonderful.

Day 2

So I missed yesterday because I was soooo busy. But ill just do day 2 on day 3.

A picture of you and the person you've been closest to the longest.

Id have to say my cousin Rach. I love her to death and we've always been close. Even though were totally different we always seem to have so much fun together, from when we were little playing house, to going to the river, to shopping. She will always be close to me. Shes my cousin:) and I absolutly Love her. I hope that our relationship will only grow stronger as we both face these new chapters in our lives. I LOVE you Rach. (and i did not pick her because she picked me. This is all truth)

Day 1

1. Im not a normal girl. I love video games, cars, sports, God, and proving that I can keep up with the Guys.

2. I am easily bored, and Im not a fan of rutine.

3. I absolutly love the outdoors.

4. If someone tells me I cant do something, I do it. Because I love a challenge and I am extremley competitive.

5.Im not a quitter.

6. I greatly enjoy History. mainly american, but any type of history intreststs me deeply. So much so, that my favorite thing to do on trips, is to visit museums.

7. Country music makes me happy, along with trucks, and cowboy hats.

8. Sometimes I like acting like a complete girl. flirting, wearing a dress, and being treated like one.

9. I really dont like seeing people hurt. it makes me sad, and wish that I could just take all thier pain. and make them happy agian.

10. I want to do something great with my life.

Picture Perfect.

So my cousin decided to do this on her blog. So therefore Im going to follow her lead and do this too:)

31 Day Photo Challenge:
Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the craziest things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss
Day 31 - A picture of yourself

Movin Forward

So yesterday I went down to San Diego to visit meps again. Spent half the day in waiting rooms at doctors offices. waiting, aka sleeping. Ill be waiting another month or so to get my waiver then pass the PST.
Im moving forward. But I probably wont feel like it until I pass my first PST. I can not wait until I get my contract. This is what Ive been waiting for. Life to move forward. To actually be able to start doing what ive been working taward for the past two years.

2010.

while one year is ending, another begins. And by the grace of God, I made it through. 2010 had its ups and downs, and downs, and downs. But I really need to learn something. To be thankful for the good things, and not focus on the bad. Now that I look at that year in depth, I realized, it was a great year. I thank God for his hand in my life. I am actually thankful that my ex cheated on me, or I would have still been with that jerk. I am thankful for the oppurtunity to become closer to my class mates. I was allowed the chance to venture to Europe, and the oppurtunity to graduate from a great highschool. I made friendships, and I broke them. I was allowed the chance to see a good friend whom i miss dearly, and I lost a friend, who i know is rejoicing with Christ. I found a new passion, and I learned some patience. And most of all, I was allowed the chance to spend more time with my family and friends. So as 2010 is over, 2011 begins. My prayer is that God teaches me to become thankful in all situations, no matter how bad it seems. Adios 2010. Bonjour 2011.