Whos hurting

Any time I see a friend hurting I know there would be nothing I wouldnt do to take away thier pain. If there was anything i could do or say to make them stop hurting I would. I listen, I make them laugh, I take on thier burdens so they wont have to. I help, its what I do, and I love it. But there always seems to be one person I forget about, ME.
Im so busy taking loads off everyone else that I forget about my own burdens. But its ok right? They can just stay burried. I can just hide them away. No one wants to hear about my problems any way. Right? Wrong. The more I pushed the pain back, the stronger it became. Something so small became monumental in my mind, but I still couldnt let it out. I would just keep pushing it back farther, and farther, until it started eating away at my mind. Until the day I let it all out on some unexpecting innocent bi stander. I have to learn to let people in. and to know that I have friends who care about me, and who want to help me. Most importantly, I have my Lord, who is always with me no matter what, who carries me, and who LOVES me.

reminders

Every day I could do one of two things. 1. I could let life get me down because it is never going to go my way. or 2. I could just take life as it comes and say to myself. "oh well, not a drama" I could choose to be sad, or I could choose to be happy. I could choose to let certain things effect me for worse, or for better. The point is, I have a choice. to be happy, sad, mad or to just not care. I choose two things, to be happy and just not care. So what that one guy doesnt want to date me, lets just be friends:) so what EVERYONE is super busy, just go make new friends:) so what I only have one super close friend in the HD, ill be the best friend shes ever had:) so what im stuck in the desert for another 6 months, ill just make the best of it:) Life has choices, you can sit and watch others live thier lives. or you can live your own. I choose happiness please:) JOY comes from the Lord:) Fill me with Your love, peace, and JOY.

Joyus time

Can I just say.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS.:)

Undateable

So Ive already made a post about the kind of guy I want to date. But now im makin one about the undateable. (this is purley opinionated for me only)

1. Not a christian

2. Gets drunk ALL the time

3. The above guy^ aka a tool.

4. someone who only cares, and talks about themselves

5. a couch potatoe

6. a guy who is 2 inches or more shorter than me

7. that one guy who thinks he is the best think to walk the planet.

8. He watches twilight

9. His idea of a friday night is to go out and pick up as many girls as he can

10.If he has all the windows rolled down and pumps his music up as loud as he can so that everyone(whether you want to or not) can listen to his music along with him

11. disrespectful to others

12. Gangster

13. Skater

14. the guy who not only doesnt watch sports, but hates them period.

15. He has 20 billion friends and only about 5 of them are guys. the rest are annoying slutty girls.

16.Will only date a girl if shes a size zero and flaunts everything shes got.

17. cant do a pushup to save his life.

18. the guy who hits on every girl that walks by him.

19. someone who is scared of everything and anything

20. and last but not least. an idiot.

Best time of the year:)

Its that time:) Winter!:) I just love winter so so so so much. Football is in full swing. And DA Bears are division leaders. But most importantly. Its snowboarding season.

I plan on going at least 2 times a week until the end of the season. (only have to pay for gas. I get to ride for free) :) I just dropped my savings on a new board, bindings and boots, and getting a new jacket for christmas. Lets just say Im excited. Although I dont think that even covers it. Ill probably be pro by the end of the season. Im goin monday for the first time in a few years and hopefully Ill remember everything as to not embarrass myself. I should have probably gone alone or something before I decided to go with my friend who is basically pro. But itll still be fun. Snowboarding, where have you been all my life? :]

Pictures speak a thousand words.

mmmmm:)

30 looks into life

So i decided to write a list of 30 things about me. My life, my dreams, what im passionate about.

1. I want to be a "good christian" but sometimes I forget to pray, read my Bible, and love God.

2. I wish I didnt live at home. But up in the mountains with a mountian man and a gun.

3. I have a dream that includes helicopters and helping people.

4. I hate losing, but sometimes allow it to happen because I am such a people pleaser.

5. I see people who know of me. But really wish they knew me.

6. I do not like it when girls try to one up me

7. I actually really like Taylor Swift even though Ill never admit it out loud, same goes for gossip girl, and glee.

8. Im a loner, yet I hate to be alone.

9. There are two people in my life (not family) Who I would do absolutly anything for. and I mean anything.

10. Im addicted to movies

11. I LOVE the Dodgersm and would never choose a different team no matter how bad they got.

12. I secretly wish I was born in the south.

13.I love looking at pictures of people who used to be in my life, even if it makes me sad because I wish they were still in it.

14. sometimes I wish I could go back to highschool just to play the sports again.

15. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again, back when boys had cooties, daddy was my hero, and everyone was my friend.

16. I love Dogs.

17. I have this crazy old fashioned idea that guys are suposed to fight for the girl they want, and work for her. crazy right?

18. I can go and pursue a job that allows me to jump out of helicopters in the raging sea, but if theres a cute guy i like, its scares me.

19. I NEVER give up

20. My life goal is to fly helicopters to save souls, not just lives.

21. I have man shoulders, but im ok with it.

22. I have issues, but I remind myself that I am Gods daughter and he loves me.

23. Cocky idiotic guys annoy me. yet I would much rather hang out with them than girls.

24. Dont tell me I cant do something, because I will prove you wrong.

25. I was cheated on, and ever since then. I have learned that its normal, Whats wrong with this world?

26. Im sick of politics. yet I love them

27. Christmas is my favorite holiday, family, food,lights, and the birth of my Lord.

28. I want to do something great to help the world. but I dont know what.

29. Girls complain. ALOT. and its annoying.

30. I am happy with who I have become and who I am becoming.

Thank you

Every time I look at an American flag I think of the men and women who have given the ultimate sacrifice, Thier lives, so that we may fly that flag in the land of the free. Our nation has had many wars. And I am so grateful that none of them have found thier way to the mainland. So when ever you see a veteran, a soldier, a marine, or a sailor Say THANK YOU. They have defended our freedom with honor, and courage.

ME.

So its been a while since Ive blogged about me, where I am, and what Im doing. So here it is, a blog about me.

Well my knee is doing wonders and Ive been running 3 miles 3 times a day, havent exsactly gotten up to doing it all at once. but im almost there. I dont want to push to hard yet until I know how it can hold up. Latley Ive been told that Im too young to have the physical issues that I have, gee thanks joints for failing me. The wii tells me I have the balance and fittness of a 50 year old. But I guess thats what 5 years of being a catcher will do to you.

Ive been getting better since the end of summer and the begining of every one leaving for school. Ive been happier, Joyful. God has given me insight of what I really have in my life, And for the first time since may I am thankful for this extra time to spend in my hometown and with my family until I leave. I can honestly say I am not depressed any more and I have come to love where I am at in the moment. I have come to learn to live in the moments, not in the days. As a famous singer wrote "lifes not the breathes you take, but the moments that take your breathe away". This is how I decided to live my life. Too often I look to the future with the mentallity of the grass is always greener. But for now, im learning to live my life and not worry about what im going to do in 10 years. For the first time since the end of summer. I can honestly say LIFE IS GOOD. I have a wonderful loving family, and amazing friends that are here with me. Ive stopped looking on what I dont have, and started focusing on the amazing people in my life at the moment.
As most of you know by now Im not going to North Carolina any more. Im not mad or upset. It just shows me that God has something planned for me here in the desert. Even if it is just to spend some extra time with my family, because I know when I leave im going to be grateful for the extra 6 months I had to spend with the people who mean the most to me. My cousin is on her way home as Im writing this and I am so excited to see her. I miss her a lot and when she gets here, were going shopping:) So changes in life happen, I just have to learn how to roll with it. And believe me Im learning. I've been thrown a large amount of change ups in my life. But I guess I'll never learn to see them coming.
So thats whats been going on through my life. It may not seem exciting, but im content at the moment:)

November

Why hello november

Why hello November, didn't see you there.

November is here, and along with that comes a few things.
1. The new Rascal Flatts cd comes out
2. The new Call of Duty game comes out
3. It is 6 months since my surgery.

what that means is that come november 18 I can start the whole crazy proscess of signing up again. Only this time its going to take a lot longer than two days. More like a few months. But at least I can get the process going. Im excited for what the future is going to bring, a little scared. but excited. So bring it on November, Im ready for you.

You are my cheeseburger.

I am addicted to junk food. And already I have given up french fries. So now to add to that list, I am giving up soda and cheeseburgers until January. It will be a difficult task, but I believe I can do it. Wish me luck:)

Quote of the Day

"If we are together, nothing is impossible, if we are divided, all will fail."- Winston Churchhill

Blessed

I am truely blessed:) thank you Lord.

Quote of the Day

"When life is giving you nice easy fastballs, slow down, take a step out of the box, then wait for the curveball before you strike out"- unknown

Change

Something needs to change. I need to suck it up, and just do what i need to get the job done. Stop being lazy because lazy is going to get me NO WHERE. Yes, the mornings are hard because I hate mornings and I would much rather just do nothing in them but sleep till the afternoon. But I cant. Because this is going to be hard, and if i just decided that im too tired to do something im going to fail. theres no question. Therefore Change needs to be made. I need to want this more than anything I have ever wanted before. to wake up and just DO IT. Dig down deep, find my dedication, determination, and desire. Then put my heart into it and never look back. I think im just getting comfortable here where im at. And that too needs to change. I will not be ok with staying here the rest of my life, nor working retail. do i want this? am i willing to do whatever it takes to get it? if the answer is yes, then something needs to change. suck it up kels and do it.

Football

Have you ever just realized how amazing football is? I mean the heart, determination, and dedication that these guys have is just amazing. I have never really been into football before, but this year i just decided "what the hey, its fun" And it has been. I decided that since I wanted to watch football I had to choose a team, and since I was kinda raised around the bears (because of my uncle) that they would be the team I chose. And so far, I have enjoyed watching almost every game that I possibly can. I am happy that i can admit I AM A FOOTBALL ADDICT. whew, I let it out. I really cannot believe I have never really gotten into football before its awesome. for sure. The end. Go Bears:)

why is everything that feels so good, bad for me?

fries are amazing. They taste so good, and they are sooo fried. which means they are bad for me. I would rather not die and be morbidly obeese. Therefore i am giving up fries until i leave for NC. the end.

Live life Joyful.

"Lifes Hard bro, get a helmet."- Boy Meets World

How true those words are. Life is so hard. And all I can think about is how hard it is for me. "my life sucks" "poor me" etc. Well you know what life sucks for everyone. Because if it didnt, then it wouldnt be life. When I went to Europe we had a british tour director and he had a line he would always say. I never really thought much about it till recently. Whenever something would go wrong he would say "Not a drama". And you know what, Hes right. Most of everything that we make such a big deal about, isnt really a big deal at all. So when life hits you hard, take a step back, look at your situation, and most likely, its not a drama. I could go on about a bunch of other cliches, like Life's too short etc. And in reality. They are all true. Life is too short to be sad, to be lonley, to be selfish. We have one life to live, do I really want to spend most of it thinking about how life could be so much better if only......

Joy can be a powerful thing. Mainly because its not just being happy for a certain period because happy always ends. But Joy can last forever if you get it from the right spot. And thats not from friends, family, or even music. Joy can be attained from Jesus. Really my life isnt all that bad right now, sure all my friends are gone and I spend a lot of time alone. But at least I still have my Dreams, my Hopes, and my future to look forward too. I may feel lonley at times, but I know there are people who care about me, and I know that Im not someone who struggles with being social. I want to love the life im living. And just take it easy. Life, when surrounded by work is boring. Work hard Play Harder. Life with out fun, joy, and laughter is dull. So be Joyful.

Sunrise:)

"I think I'll go to Boston, I think that I'm just tired I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind... I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset" Agustana

Only insert Wilmington where it says Boston. Thats right, come January I'm moving. My cousin is already out there and well my parents are kicking me out of the house. Im scared I must admit, worried. But I know God will take care of me. Im also worried to leave my family when Im already leaving for the Navy. At least moving to NC ill be able to choose when I want to go visit home. But the place im moving to is beautiful. 10 minutes away from the beach, and on the other side is a river. I am super excited for the change. I need a sunrise, I need new people, I need to leave California. Now if only I can take all of my family with me, then it would be perfect. But at least Ill have my cousin:)) I mainly just need something new. Im sure you all know how im feeling right now. I was all ready and in the mind set of leaving in July when i got stuck here. Now im sure this is a nice place to live and I do not look down on anyone who has stayed here thier enitire life, I personally do not know how they do it. But as for me, I just need something new. I feel bad for my parents and in no way does me moving mean Im tired of them. Im just a 19 year old who wants to experiance life outside of the High Desert. So come January Im off. Im also going to pick up surfing when I get there. Because its 10 minutes from the beach. 10 minutes!!!!! im two hours right now. but its going to be 10 minute!!! im pretty excited about that.

Music, Love & Peace

I absolutly adore music. Life would be completly uncomplete without it. Its a life line, it speaks to the soul, its sooths, it angers, and it can make you a very happy person. We worship with music, we admit our sorrows with music, and we celebrate our happiest times with music. Think about it, life would be so dull without music. I couldn't stand to ever be alone if it wasn't for music. The best part about music, is it will never go away. Even when we die, there will be glorious singing to praise God. We will sing holy, holy, holy, and it will the absolutly amazing. Better than anything one will ever experiance on this earth. Music is a part of people. It's in the soul. I think thats why i love it so much. It speaks to the soul. When you sit and listen to a song that explains exsactly what you are going through it becomes your anthem. Music is wonderful. It brings love, it brings peace. and Frankly it helps people through breakups. No lie. Have I mentioned I love music?
I honestly think there is no greater sound than a melody of instruments working perfectly together. A piano being played with perfect melody, a guitar sounding off the sounds of love between two crazy kids, a violin being used in classical music, along with the twangy wonderfulness of country blues and southern rock. My favorite thing to do is just sit and listen to music. The sound of a mans voice, working together with an acustic, its beautiful. The perfect harmonies of a classical choir piece, amazing. I honestly could not imagine life without music. Have you ever been out in the wilderness, no cars, no cell phones, no ipods, just the sounds of nature. Thats music. The sounds of the birds chirping is one of the greatest praise songs i will ever hear. The beautiful music of a waterfall, and the wind blowing through the tress. I really do not think i can convey the absolutle love of music i have.just the passion it brings. its amazing.
On a down side. the way modern society has ruined music, I really dont think most kids even know the sounds of real music when they hear it. It has been perverted and ruined. I really dont think people understand the power and influence music can have on the soul. If they did, i dont think they would have perverted it so. just some food for thought. I could be totally wrong, but its my opinion. I think ill just share with you one of my absolute all time favorite songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQVeaIHWWck Moon light Sonata by Beethoven.

Never

Ever since I was born I was told to never say never, because everything can be possible. Well now that Im older i find myself saying the word alot. "ill never make it" " ill never find the right guy for me" "ill never have a lot of friends." etc. and more depressing things like that. As life gets going, it just gets harder and harder. That is when you learn to use the word never in a new light. Never give up, Never quit, Never lose hope, Never forget that God is the only one you need. When you learn to use words diffrently and see them in a new light they can be pretty powerful. Even if you may not realize it, what you tell yourself you can and cannot do makes a hudge impact on the future of your life. If you tell yourself " Ill never make it" then duh, you wont. but if you tell yourself " Ill never give up" then sooner or later youll start believing it. I was raised with my daddy telling me that if I wanted to do something I have to stick to it. and I did. even if the next season I didnt come around and play, i still finished the season no matter how bad I wanted to quit(basketball when i was in 5th grade) I may have been young in 5th grade and you may be thinking " hey its not bad to let an 11 year old just stop doing something they dont want to do anymore" but not my daddy. If I wanted to do something, and then hated it, by golly I was going to finish it, because thats the way it works. And trust me, it has helped me through so much. I can honestly say I have never quit anything in my life. I always finished it out, why? because thats what I was tought at a very young age.
So then why are things changing now? Why do I want to quit so badly now?Why is it that at this moment in my life I want to for the first time ever just quit and give up? Why do i want to use that word "never" in a bad way? Life changes and life changes fast even if you do not realize it. I may be scared, I may want something now, my lack of patience may be getting the better of me. But the main reason I think, is because I stopped trusting. Trusting in God, trusting in my ablilities, and mainly, trusting in God. I dont think I have sat and read his word, his true word, for over a month. And I have just now come to realize while writing this, that I always get this way when I stop trusting in God. I always just want to give up, crawl back into bed and sleep until reality is pushed to the side. And normally, until I start praying and reading again, thats exsactly what I do. Even if on the way I hurt those I love, and I make them feel sorry for me. Well. I hate that. I feel like such an aweful person. And I hate hurthing those who have given so much for me. So, I cant promise that I will never feel like this again. But I can promise that im through. I through using the word never in such a negative way, and im through being to negative. Im ready to live my life for God, no matter where that might be, and im ready to try for the things that I want, what ever that may be. So wheather this subject comes up again or not, im through talking about it. Im tired of feeling hopeless and its time to put some hope and light back into my life. Im tired of living in darkness, so let the light shine.

give me your eyes.

Wow. That is all I have to say about these past two weeks. They have been interesting, joyfull, sad and thought prevoking.
About two weeks ago my friends father passed away from cancer. He was an absolute blessing and joy to anyone he came in contact with and I was extremely blessed to have him as a teacher. His light shines through his daughter, she is an amazing woman and truely her fathers daughter. My heart goes out to her and her family.

On Thursay I found out that a 15 year old kid that I knew from my highschool took his own life. 15 years old. I was not super close to him, but its still sad, and very shocking. I really do not know who say it coming. I may have not known his situation, but my heart still aches for the reasons why a 15 yearolds life would be so bad that he would take his own life. He was an outgoing kid with a lot of life ahead of him. and even though I do not know his situation, or how bad it was, all I can think of is that he stopped trusting in God. That is the absolute most important thing in life, to trust God. Dare I say, but it is more important than human relationships.
This situation caused me to think about people. We pass people on the streets every day not knowing thier story, all we know is they cut us off, they're going too fast, or they bump into us walking, and all we do, or at least I do, is just get mad at them, some flip them off, and others are just plain rude. The point is, we do not know other peoples lives, they could have something horrible going on and all they want is to see a nice face, but our world today is full of such mean and selfish people. This brings me to a song I heard on air1 the other day, and it is my prayer.

"Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
yeah .. yeah .. yeah .. yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
There’s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
He’s out of work
He’s buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared? "

So Christians this is my challenge to you. I challenge you to get out there and start loving people, trusting God, and help change the world one life at a time.

Maybe this isn't so bad after all.....

I went to the doctors the other day and had some pretty good news. I don't have chondromalacia. And tat is fantastic. What that means is I'm going onto the navy for sure. Nothing is going to stop me now. I'm like fire in a dry forest. Ready to burn!!!! I'm prretty pumped. I'm actually at work right now.. Showed up a little early so I had some time to blog. Thought I would share my thoughts with ya'll. Work is going well. Prety boring sometimes. But I deal with it. It's a job right? This past week was vbs.. Vacation bible school. I was in charge of the games and music and basically ran the thing. Although my mother did do a lot. I love her. Needless to say we are both extremely tired. This was my last year at vbs.. Pretty happy about that oje. Well time to start work. Adios amigos!!!

The Back Up Plan

Well, I dont know whats going on anymore. When I went to the doctor with pain in my left knee he threw out a word, and it was a bad word. He used the word chondromalacia. A word you do not want to hear if your trying to join the military. Unfortunatly it is very hard to get a waiver with that condition. Its this thing where the cartlage under my knee cap is very bad, kinda detiriating. But I wont know if I have this for sure until friday. This has given me time to think of a back up plan. Even though hopefully I wont need it. And Im very hoping I dont.
I recently heard of a school in Spokane, Washington. Its part of Moody in Chicago. The program of the school is Mission Aviation School. It seems so interesting and like a viable back up plan. Im going to Idaho, in a part that is not too far from Spokane and Im going to visit the campus to see what its all about.
I have no idea what im going to do. Missions is for special people, people who God have called, and I believe that if you try to do missions and you were not called to it , then it will be bad. SO I have no idea what Im going to do. its sucks no knowing, but I guess I will know in november.

july 7, 2010

Today's the day. The day I was suposed to arrive at boot camp. it makes me wonder. Why, Why am I still here? Why are I not gone? well besides the obvious knee surgery thing, Im waiting for the reason why. Even though its hard to admit I just know that theres a reason for the not going, but its still difficult. Again I need to learn to look at the silver lining of things. Just because Im not leaving now, does not mean i will never leave.

Honor, Courage, and Commitment

We have all heard those three words, and many in the Navy have heard them put together, its listed at the end of the Sailors Creed. As a DEP rectuit you even have to memorize what they tell you it means. In the Navy they call it the Core Values. They tell you honor is to be honest, ethical, encouraging, having integrity, Courage is to make decisions that you think is best, meeting specific challenges, and loyalty. They describe commitment as demanding respect, caring for the safty and well being of others, and to exhibit the highest degree of moral character, technical excellence, quality and competence in what we have been trained to do.

So what do these words really mean?

Honor: I belive honor is one of the harder of the three to truely understand. From the begining of time men have been tought to represent thier family with honor, to live a life of honor, and to die with honor. But what is honor? “He has honor if he holds himself to an ideal of conduct though it is inconvenient, unprofitable, or dangerous to do so.”-Walter Lippmann. Thomas Jefferson came pretty close to describing honor when he said “Nobody can acquire honor by doing what is wrong”. Doing what is right, doing what no one else is willing to do because its too "hard", not just counting physical hardness, but mental hardness. Honor is aquired by doing what is right. By not lying, but telling the truth with respect when its needed. describe honor how you want, but that is my idea on the word.



Courage: Doing something when your scared out of your mind. You cannot be couragous doing something that does not frighten you. That is not courage. Even if it looks like it from a distance and outside party, it is not. Courage is mental. Be strong and couragous. Theres not a lot to say on the subject because its easily summed up. Courage is when your scared, you do it anyways.

Commitment: One of the most important things in life. If you are never commited to anything, then you will never do anything, you will always find yourself quiting when the going gets tough. If something is too hard, you give up. Commitment is staying with something, no matter how bad you just want to give up, go home, and sleep in your nice warm bed. Commitment goes hand in hand with dedication.

So these three words are very simple words, but when you put them together, they create an extroidinary human bieng. I believe the only way you can possibly even come close to all three together is if you have the holy spirit in you. The three would create a man who does what is right, even if it is not popular, does what needs to be done, even if it may cost his life, and one who NEVER gives up. thats what needs to be taught to the military.

Second Days better

Yesterday at work was so much fun! I worked with three older lady's who were probably some of the funniest people I have ever met.

In other news, this will be a short blog post. I decided there is no need to completly delete my facebook. I will just not be friends with anyone who is friends with him. So sorry anyone who is, you will not be my friend on facebook.:)) I've come to terms with while there is nothing to do, its ok to just relax on the computer as long as it does not control me.

New World& addictions

Wow, I never realized how hard it is to stay off Facebook. I guess that just means I made the right choice in deleting it. It had become an addiction, and addictions are bad. They are placed above God.Any time something becomes an addiction it controls your life. There should only be one addiction in my life, and it should be God.
On the New World side of things I started my first job ever yesterday. Well, I dont think you can really call it starting. It was a sort of training. I felt like I was back in school reading packets and filling out worksheets. I spent three hours yesterday in a tiny room reading all these diffrent packets. It was, well how should I say, boring. Today should be better, as I think im done with the whole packet reading side of things. Hopefully God uses me here at this job to help someone who needs it. While I'm excited to start this new job, mainly because it's something to do and it's a way to get money, I am even more excited for November. If I am ready, November is the month I can sign up again for the Navy. The rescue swim thing is still a very big want in my life, and an even bigger passion. I'm working hard and I can't wait to start running again. Passing this test will be one of the biggest accomplishments in my life and I cannot do it with out God. Thank you to everyone who is being supportive of me and my decision in this. I know it looks bad to others that I am basically doing nothing for 9 months, but to all of you who have been so supportive in my life, you have helped me more than you could imagine.

Graduations.. yes plural

Today was my sister B's Graduation from BIOLA U. Im so proud of her for graduating. We sat out in the sun for almost an hour to wait for her to be called so she could go up on stage and get her diploma. Well it wasnt her real one, but it was a representative of it. After she got her dipoloma I left and sat a building with Mey talking about truth and what not. She kept saying you can tell the truth and not be honest, thats a lie. After the Graduation we went to B's sister in laws to have a little grad party for her. All of my moms side of the family was there minus one family, and my dads parents. The party was pretty fun. We took some pictures of B, R, and me in our cap and gowns. It was a pretty fun weekend.

Graduation is in T minus 6 days:))

Tomorrow is the last time I EVER have to see Mr. Douche. Im pretty excited. If I didnt even see him tomorrow I would be pretty happy. Oh well. we dont always get what we want.

Im breaking my no facebook rule today to get some pictures that I want off of it. That is the only reason. After this im going back to not going on.

I got my Graduation dress today at Target!!!! its so cute. Im in love with it. well not in love, but I really like it.

last day blues.... only minus the blues part.

Today was the last day of school. wierd. it didnt feel like it. Classes just kinda ended. it was so odd. All of my teachers were just like "have a good life." after four years of giving them all my blood sweat and tears, thats all they had to say. Thanks guys!. Im soooooo happy its done. I mean I have one final. an English one. but im not fretting about it. its just a test on Lord of the flies, interesting book. Yes Im reading it. I know most people do not read the books that thier teacher gives them, and they may be right, but Im reading this one. Time to go read. This whole not going on facebook thing is very hard. But I can do it. I know I can

Re-do

So my break from social networking gave me to oppertunity to not only get some reading done, but to re-do and deep clean my room. I switched around some stuff and added a few things. My bed used to be in the middle of the room, I didnt have a couch, and I moved the desk. I also added a WW2 helmet display I made with an american helment in the middle with a german, belgium, british, and french flag around it. Kinda like a memorial. It was actually a ton of fun to clean and get a lot of things out of the way. On other news. I gave my puppy this stuffed animal dog that my dousche bag ex gave me. I thought she would tear it up like she has in the past with all the other ones I gave her. She decided that she would rather hump it. Yes, you heard me right, hump it. I of course laughed out of disgust, then yelled at her and told her she needs to chew it up. I mean, thats why I gave it to her in the first place. Sick little dog. Oh well. 1 day of school left, 9 days till Graduation and counting.

A break off of social networking

I decided this week that I am not going to go on facebook until after my texas trip. So thats over 20 days of no facebook. Yesterday I was sitting finished with all my homework and other work and I had absolutly nothing to do!. Which is a big thing for me. I HATE having nothing to do. So I wanted to go on facebook, you know how many hours a day I am on facebook. probaly about 5 or 6 hours a day. Its crazy. My experiment will be interesting, especially since School is basically over, which means I have to actaully find something to do other than watch tv and sit on facebook. Maybe ill redecroate my room? maybe ill take the dog for a walk?maybe ill read? who knows. The possibilities are endless!! All I know is I spend WAY to much time on facebook and I need to chill out.

Im planning on doing a lot this summer. To go on trips, to do things I have never done before, go camping, go to San Fransisco, rock climbing, beach trips, and spend time with friends. I plan on spending a ton of time with my friends. This is my last summer with them. and Im greatful God gave me a few more months to spend with them. I plan on making this the most epic summer ever. Also I plan on spending time with some of the peeps from my class. My class finally decided to do things together when we only have a week left till graduation.

Senior Ditch day was absolutly sooooo much fun. I loved it. We went down to huntington beach and just chilled out. There were quite a few people there and I got pretty close to some of the girls in my class. I love them all so much, they are absolutly amazing. These girls are the most real girls I have met in a long time. They are who they are and they dont try to be something else. I love them both:))

After senior ditch day there was Sr. Jr. Luau. That was pretty fun, the entire jr, and sr. class went down to salt creek beach for a fun day of just hanging out. Amber was crowned Island princess, I voted for her. This year has just been the most fun I have ever had with my class.

Christianity in war.

Last night I got into a debate with a guy at a coffee shop. He was saying in so many words that it is unchristain to be in the military. I had never heard this line of thought before so I decided to go ahead and take him on. He never fully answered any of the questions that I had asked, but I just let it slide since I was not completely educated on the subject. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just keep asking questions even if you dont know what you are talking about. And if you dont know what they are talking about, ask some more questions. Now I did not win this debate or anything, but it did get me thinking. So I went home to my facebook and posted it as a status to see what people would say. Turns out a thriving discussion appeared. Here is my conclusion to this discusison.

First things first, dont argue things that you dont really care about. It makes people frustrated at you and you just sound stupid. Secondly. do not get into a discussion with Adam Rodriguz. If you are against him, you will lose. Thirdly. Do not try to get off track of the discussion, try to stay on the subject instead of talking about things that are completely irrelevent. I came to the conclusion that it is not unchristian to join the military. Look at that, the same as when I started. Yes the Bible states do not kill, but you have to study the intent. In so many words it is do not murder. All killings are not murder. Although the ends do not justify the means, do the means justify the ends? Is it sinful to join the military? I believe no. But thats the point. This entire discussion is based on what you believe or your opinion, and there is no use arguing opinions. Discusions are to find truth. And the truth is, it is NOT sinful to join the military as long as you are always serving God first.

Stay Beautiful:]]

So the surgery date is set. May 18. I know its a small one, but im still nervous with anything that mentions the words kelsey and surgery in the same sentance. At least I get to finish out my season. wich we are not doing to great in, but any season that is better than my freshman year( we didnt win any games) is a good one. Right now my team is in 4th, and it does not look like we are going to playoffs. Which frankly i am okay with. I dont like play off games becasue we NEVER win. ever. I cannot remember the last time I personally have been on a team that has won a playoff game. so really it is not that big of a deal for me. My dad on the other hand. I have no idea what he is going to do when Im done with sports. It seems like his whole life revolves around my sports. Seriously. Its what brings him joy in life. Get this, Last year I joined the team late and my coach didnt give me a letter, but I played in every season game. My dad went insain and is still trying to get my letter from last year, personally I dont care. But he does. so whatever gives him joy.
Ugh... all this senior stuff is getting so stressful. This buisness project is going to be the end of me. I just cannot wait till its all over. I barley have to deal with any of it, yet I still feel the stress in the class. We are all counting down the days to where we never have to deal with highschool again. Although I am not looking forward to basically doing nothing from september to Febuary. That time is going to be so boring, while all my friends are busy in school, I'll be at the gym 24/7. I seriously cannot wait until I leave. The Lord is really teaching me patience. and I guess all I can do is sit and listen. I am excited about going to Texas. Mainly just because of who Im going with. I know I can always trust her and I can tell her absolutly Anything. I know she will never judge me and she wants the best for me. I love my friend. :) so stay beautiful ya'll.

Fresno, Gloriana And Taylor Swift.

Last Year I went to a Taylor Swift concert and we saw a band that opened for her called Gloriana, I had no idea who they were and I had never heard of them before. Well this year we went to Fresno to see Taylor Swift and Gloriana was opening again. This year I knew who they were and I absolutly love them. I met Mike the cute blond guitar player and talked to him, hes so cute. I told him he was the real reason I went to the concert and he blushed. I had a ton of fun at the concert and got a t-shirt signed by them. On our way to Fresno we stopped at this place called the cheese factory, there were donkeys, a parrot, and really good mac&cheese. :). Needless to say the concert and the entire trip was so much fun.

(pictures coming soon)

Adventures around Europe. Well some of it....

So this last two weeks I have been in Europe with 15 members of my Senior class following Easy Company of the 101st airborne division. It has been absolutly amazing and eye opening. First things first. The food. It was so delicious and fantastic. All the crepes and nutella, so yummy. The pastries were also to die for. We visited London, Cantebury, Normandy, Rouen, Paris, Bastogne, La Roche, and Munich. All the cities were so beautiful and my favorite would have to be Normandy. Although we only got to visit Omaha, and I would like to visit all of them someday.

The way I would describe London is, full of tradition. Seriously, those british hold on to tradition like no ones buisness. All thier funky hats and wierd ways of marching. My favorite part of London was all the history behind it and learning what they all went through. During WW2 they were attack by what is called the blitz, the germans would bomb the hell out of London and no one really felt safe. I loved learning about thier view of how things happened in WW2.

Normandy was my favorite. The way the american cemetary is aligned and looks so perfect and serene. It was so beautiful. That was a place I know I could live and just spend time. The beach, so peaceful today but at one time 70 years ago, it was full of guns. There is really nothing else I can say about Normandy.

Paris. The city of love. The city that is competly filthy. It is a very dirty city, but what major city isnt? it was over crowded and beautiful at the same time. The eiffle tower makes everything look so small. That little piece of history that should have been torn down 100 years ago still stands tall. Paris, the city that gave themselves up to save thier own history. The Louvre was an excelent museum. So many beautiful paintings and sculptures. I loved it, along with versilles.

Bastongne, The town that absolutly loves americans. They are so grateful for what the men did over there. The one thing that hit me was that the town was completly leveled, yet they are so grateful that the men of the 101st didnt give up the town. They actaully have a square named after General McAuliffe, you know the famous nuts guy. They also have a resturante named Le Nuts and really good ham.

Munich, well the only real thing we did in munich was go to dachau. Dachau was something else. It was so peacful and so beautiful. It made it hard to imagine that 70 years ago it was full of hatred, sorrow, and death. While I was there looking at this spot where two men were executed a butterfly flew by and landed on the plaque. It was so serene, so odd, and so out of place. Here was this place that was so sad, and a little butterfly is fluttering along. It made me think that there were probably butterflys fluttering along when the camp was in buisness. They didnt know what was going on, maybe a prisoner had the same experiance I did right before they were shot. Maybe they got to see a little guy just like the one I saw. All I know is that I do not want to go back there. It was so overwhelming, maybe I was the only one to feel that, and maybe I was just over tired, but it was so sad.

The trip ended with Munich and shopping. Shopping seems to make things better. It was an amazing experience and I recomend that every willing and able american take a trip to some part of Europe. maybe to get a diffrent view on the second world war like I did, or maybe to just unwind and eat amazing food. All I know is that I am deffinatly going back.

sounds like life.

Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasy
It’s just a common case of everyday reality
Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
It sounds like life to me

Went to the doctor yesterday. Got the news I didnt want to hear. Surgery. The good news? I can finish out my softball season, as long as I can live with the pain. My date is definatly getting pushed back and I have no idea when I will leave. It could be july, august, september, october, november, or december. I have no Idea when im leaving and that kinda sucks. I wish I could just leave right when I graduate. It would have been the perfect day to leave. not too early and not too late. but thats not going to happen. I might have to wait 3 or 4 months after july..I guess I just have to try and make the best of it.

More than studying, We have lives!

School has been such a wierd afterthought this year. With 44 school days left in my highschool career nothing has really changed. For this semester my goal really is straight B's. And I think im am accomplishing it very well. I leave for Europe in 5 days for two weeks, then have one more week of no school. Once I come back to school I have one more quarter left then highschool is over. I have to say Im pretty excited to be done and over with it. Whoever said highschool is the best years of you life are completely wrong and stupid. Highschool sucks. period. no ifs ands or buts about it. Moral of the story? There is way more to life than highschool and Im excited to find out what there is. All in all, I cannot wait to graduate.
xoxo KV.

cowboy crazy

Ive been pretty guy crazy latley, not saying I really want to date at the moment, Ive just been thinking a lot about what kind of guy I really want. I listen to country music SOO much that the type of guy i want has become a cowboy. Now I realize that not every man looks like the below picture. But without the hat and belt buckle, he would just look like an everyday normal tool. Lets face it, cowboys are hot. They have muscle from working all day and they are always tan. The hat just adds an extra WHAM!.

I dont want a country boy just because most of them are smokin, but most of the time what they stand for. A true country boy would never cheat you, he knows what he wants, and he most of the time has moral and values. So its for the accent, the hat, and the way he acts. and lets face it ladys. This fella^^^^ smokin. :] so this is my cowboy obssension. and I am going to marry one, We will live on a farm with horses and chickens.

Any man of mine

Since the begining of time women have always wanted the perfect man. Latley I have been thinking a lot about what kind of guy I really want. So far I havent had the best luck with guys and I think that is because I honestly have never sat down and thought about what I want in a guy. Well today I decided to make a list for what exactly I want in a boyfriend and husband.

First off I want him to be a good christian, I want him to rely on christ and God and to be active in his church. I want a man who is a MAN. I dont want a little boy, I want him to be a man inside and out.

1. Strong Christian faith.

2. A manly man

3. He must respect me and my family, he cannot be rude to my parents or my sisters.

4. He MUST repect me.

5. He has to be able to make me laugh

6. He cannot have a short temper

7. He has to like sports perferably baseball

8. I prefer to have a nice guy

9. A family orientated guy.

10. A cowboy:)

. Although looks are not the most important thing in a relationship I believe that it is still important that you are attracted to the guy. So these are the physical things I look for in a guy

1. Eye color I dont really care about I like any color as long as he has eyes.

2. he has to be averaged sized with muscles. I like a guy who is stronger than me and who looks it.

3. I have a thing for brunettes.

4. He has to be taller than me.

5. Achne kinda freaks me out, so I would prefer to have a clean face.

6. Taller than me.

Well thats about it. Theres my list of what I look for in a guy and I hope to find a guy like this in the future.

Orange you glad I didnt say banana?

Today was my mothers reunion for her church that she grew up in. It was extremely boring and I was ready to fall asleep. It took place at an orange grove and it was a very lovely home. so during the program while this old guy was singing a very slow boring song megan and I snuck out and walked around the area down this dirt road. There were some guys in the yard next to the house we were at riding thier dirt bikes around. one of them was pretty cute. Yea I know im boy crazy. We walked by this house that looked pretty creepy and pretened I was Indiana Jones. Then we had orange fights. We were throwing oranges at eachother and played soccer with a grape fruit. We went back to the house and I jumped on the trampaline with my little cousins Isabelle. We pretened we were birds. I then went back to the barn and it was over. So we drove home and went to in-n-out, needless to say it was a pretty fun day.

Back to my knee. I went to the Doctor yesterday and he told me that he thinks there is nothing seriously wrong with my knee. He thinks there might be a small, small tear but nothing a little rest cannot fix. So no surgery. The problem of whether or not I can still get a Rescue swimmer contract is still there. I dont know if I will have enough time to rest my knee and pass the test. See I have to have the contract for two months before I leave and at the rate that Im going I wont be ready to take a test anytime soon. So I have to make a choice. I really want to be a rescue swimmer because I really want to help people, and I really want to fly. Keep me in your prayers cause Im kinda stressing out right now. On a good side I leave for Europe in 9 days!!!!!:)

meniscus

So life is not exactly going the way I planned. Things feel like they have been falling apart latley and its not a good feeling. There is still hope but I will find out tomorrow. So Friday I went out running and while I was running my knee gave out and I fell. We went to the doctor he told me that I might have a torn meniscus. I havent been playing softball for a week along with running. I might have to get surgury and if that happens then Im done with softball and I wont get a rescue swim contract. I would just have to go in with an AD contract and after two years I can put in for rescue swimming. I just have to remind myself often that its all in God's timing and that he has a plan. It just kinda sucks because this is my last year to play and its hard. I know im a real good catcher and ball player. I just have to remember to look at the big picture and not just this year. Pray for me peeps:)